Saturday, 9 July 2016

Well hello there!

Howya folks, long time no see! Sorry about that but I've been sick as fuck the past while so my heads really not been in it, but I'm almost back to full health so I thought I'd share what I've been picking away at.
When I was a youngfella, one of my all time favourite series in White Dwarf was the Tale of Four Gamers, where Paul Sawyer and three other gw staffers collected an army over the space of a few months with a budget of £25 a month, with it all culminating in a four way battle report once the time limit had been reached. Now I could go on for ages about how £25 wouldn't get you the steam off a trolls piss these days, but I'm not stepping up on that particular soapbox today. 
Anyway, while chatting to a few like minded gentlechaps (I'm being polite, they're fucking animals) on Facebook, I casually mentioned how it might be a good idea to maybe run something similar at some point in the future on the Herohammer International Facebook page, given that its 4th/5th ed warhammer focus is very much of the time of the original series. The next thing I know, that fucking kangaroo worrier Captain Crooks had announced it with all due pomp and ceremony on the page, and the sign up thread was open; participants have to paint 250 points per month between June and December, which will leave us with a new 1500 point army for Christmas. Piece of piss!
Well, seeing as it was probably my fault, I duly put my name down, the question now was which army? Well, once I had a think, given the period covered I could only choose the army I'd always wanted back then, and factor in that I'm a fucking glutton for punishment, I chose orcs and goblins. 
Anyway, having submitted 280 points for June, I'm now into my next 250 point commitment, so I thought I'd show off what's been done so far:







So that's where the army stands right now, I'm really happy with how it's developing, hopefully I can keep hitting the targets!
And there you go for this latest nipple hardening installment on the blog, thanks for looking folks! And don't worry, my next post will be back to the warbands project with Ned, I haven't forgotten about it! 






Wednesday, 1 June 2016

Chaos warband meets a "familiar" face!

Well hello there! Between having the family visiting, being a bit under the weather and both mine and the nippers birthdays in the same week, I'm falling behind on things again, but if anyone is seriously aggrieved by the situation I am available to fight it out in a range of car parks throughout the East Riding of Yorkshire, so just let me know!
Anyway, over on the Emporium of Rogue Dreams on Facebook, we've had a competition on to convert and paint our interpretation of the infamous Abdul Goldberg, a recurring character in the scenario section of the original Rogue Trader rulebook. I won't go into too much detail here, but there have been extensive posts on many fine blogs about the man himself lately, in fact I'm pretty sure you can click in any blog that I'm following and you'll find something about him. Anyway, as usual I completely disregarded all the other stuff I should be doing and pledged an entry, to be fair I couldn't resist once it was announced that none other than Rick Priestly himself would be judging the entries! Anyway, this is my entry into the competition;



Abdul Goldberg; mercenary, scumbag and general arsehole. Not that he's a bad person as such, just definitely not a good one. Goldberg pulls the strings on countless rackets throughout the sector, from his Spook trafficking enterprise with the scavvy king known as "the Immortan" on (the now strangely quiet) Primus Hive all the way to his dealings in "sentient commodities" with the reprehensible "Funboy Three", Goldberg has so many fingers in different pies that it's easier just to assume that he has a hand in every shady endeavour across the sector.
Tales of his origins are as varied as his business dealings, with theories ranging from an ex guard officer to the heady notion that he is the Emperors own bastard boy. Goldberg doesn't bother to either confirm or deny these claims, but the true story is unknown to all but him. Whatever his origins, none can deny there's something special about him, as inquisitior Annolumen was heard to say, "that one could talk the pants off of a sororitas". His gift of negotiation has seen him build a sector spanning network, and his willingness to get his hands dirty has helped him keep control of it. Unfortunately for Goldberg, he is currently experiencing a slight setback, a meeting with a Blood Axe warboss on the newly ork infested outer rim was interrupted by a howling space marine and a small band of imperial soldiers ambushing the meeting and butchering most of the participants.. 
Putting his formidable skills of self preservation into action, Goldberg managed to hurriedly negotiate a deal with the strangely soft spoken renegade; in return for his and his remaining minders lives, Goldberg would assist him in his search for the warp gate, between the (now traitor) guardsmens geographical knowledge and his knowledge of the ork enemy and ability to communicate with them, The Gentle should find his mission time cut in half.
Of course, as soon as Goldberg can secure off planet transport he is out of there, and damn that brightly painted lunatic and his "holy quest"


Abdul Goldberg, flanked by his "Door Knockers"


Argyle is actually an agent of "The Funboy Three", permanently attached to Goldbergs organisation. He is ostensibly a go between for Goldberg and the slavers but in recent months has started to lean more towards an enforcement role; obviously Abduls skill at manipulation has been put to good use..



Saul is a degenerate, drug fuelled whirlwind. Goldbergs favourite enforcer by far, this quivering mass of sinew and stimulant is a constant companion always ready to use shockingly excessive force to further his bosses ends. Rumour has it he was an arbites judge that looked a little too deeply into the affairs of the Immortan on Primus, and after being "disappeared" by the scavvy king and worked on by his chemists the one now known as Saul was presented as a gift to Goldberg, the Immortan judging his violent outbursts "too vulgar" for his sensibilities..

Aaand there yis go, my warband entry for this week is done! Thanks for reading folks, stay tuned to The Work of Shaitan for the next installment!





Saturday, 14 May 2016

The Fakkhaven Two

Hello again you lucky bastards! I've been ploughing ahead this week on commission work I'd fallen behind on while I was ill, but also managed to get the next entry in my collaborative project with Ned over at The Work of Shaitan, and this weeks thrilling installment (shut up, you know you love it) is a pair of beastmen... Now, if you've been paying attention, you'll remember I rolled up a pair of orcs to join Cohaagens little gang, but as I'd already rolled four chaos goblins, it was becoming apparent that I was heading towards a very greenskin heavy warband. Now, ordinarily that would be absolutely no problem, I love me orcs and gobbos, but seeing as how it's looking like I'll be spending the rest of the year on my greenskin army (more on that at a later date), I fancied a bit of variety before I rolled up my sleeves and got stuck in. So after a bit of a natter with Ned to make sure it was ok, and it was cos he's sound, I made the change from a pair of orcs to a pair of beastmen, cos as Ned himself said, what's a warband without beastmen?
So here I present my next entry, a pair of Bob Olley crackers that were an absolute pleasure to work on:


While the followers of Nurgle are known to be unusually cheerful for servants of the dark gods, the beastmen Aargash and Gholic are a remarkably gregarious pair. Arriving in Fakkhaven as part of Father Wormtastes carnival, they wasted no time in moving among the human citizenry, their horrific appearance at complete odds with their good humour. 
They delight in playing jokes on the populace, their braying laughter resounding around the village every time someone falls victim to their antics. Unfortunately, games such as "surprise smash", where Aargash distracts the victim with a silly jape while Gholic sneaks up behind and smashes them in the head with his mace, aren't really appreciated by their victims, usually because they end the day as a broken heap of flesh.
But the chuckling beastmen care not a jot, and fill their days "milking" nurglings into the water supply along with a myriad of other horrible tricks. While the human population are extremely wary of the pair, both Father Wormtaste and Cohaagen delight in their antics and overlook the worst of their excesses, for when the rotting beastmen are eventually roused to anger, they are formidable defenders of the noisome settlement..

Now, if you're still awake, here's some pictures: 



Stay tuned here and over at The Work of Shaitan for the next thrilling installments, Neds got another cracker lined up too! 

Thanks for looking!



Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Warband project: A necessary evil

Hello there! Bit late with my next instalment due to one thing or another, but I'm here now with another addition to The Gentles retinue, 3 out of 6 humans..

Having made planetfall on the now Ork infested world, The Gentle and Shard wasted no time in looking for clues to ascertain the location of the warp gate. The demon within The Gentle, while able to track the psychic emanations coming from the portal, was unable to pinpoint the position due to the high levels of background psychic activity emanating from millions of blood maddened greenskins. Shard however, is a tracker with few mortal equals, and between his skill and the vague directions from the demon, they have managed to narrow down their search area to a manageable size.
On their journey, they came across the remnants of an imperial guard garrison, their remote posting causing them to be overlooked in the chaos of the evacuation. Out of a platoon of thirty men, only six remained, starvation, disease and attrition from the constant clashes with greenskin patrols taking a heavy toll. The Gentles demon saw the number of survivors as auspicious in the eyes of its God, and so "guided" the renegade marine to offer allegiance to the survivors, an offer they reluctantly accepted..... 


"Yes we're following this renegade and his creepy bastard friend, but what else are we to do? We were dumped in the shit and forgotten about while everyone else fucked off, left to defend ourselves against these green maniacs. No, fuck that, and fuck the emperor for betraying us like that. The renegade, in that silly voice of his, has promised us a way off world if we can show him the way to something he's looking for. Won't say what it is, but I don't give a grox shit either, this is our chance to get the hell out of here and ahead of the green storm that's coming. Maybe we can join up with The Bastards, those mercs know their job, and they're very well compensated for it. Or maybe just kick back on one of the fringe worlds and stay blind drunk until the inevitable happens and the orks burn the whole system to the ground. Not a hope in hell of rejoining the regiment anyway, those pricks left us for dead, so as far as they're concerned that's exactly what we are. Yeah, thinking about it, this could all work out very nicely.. These dreams I'm having lately are a bit weird though, the women are fantastic, even with those big glowing eyes and weird claws where their hands should be.. It's probably just combat stress, but I'll bring it up with the rest of the unit if it keeps happening, just to make sure I'm not going too mad..."


So, there's your lot for this installment folks, thanks for looking and be sure to hit up The Work of Shaitan to see what delights Ned has for us next!



Saturday, 30 April 2016

A return to Fakkhaven

How do fuckers, hope all is well! Still battling the yearly hayfever offensive, but I've managed to soldier on and add the first set of followers to Mr. Cohaagens little gang. Seven humans are now ready to help spread the word of the Father throughout the empire and beyond

While many of Fakkhavens original inhabitants have not survived, either from the pestilential presence of Father Wormtastes carnival or Cohaagens fanatical zeal, the village still has quite a substantial population for its size. Some of the original inhabitants immediately took to the worship of chaos, people like "Old Yurt", the village rat catcher, whose deformities made him a subject of cruel ridicule from the rest of Fakkhaven now finds unconditional love and acceptance in the new order of things. Brigands from the woods, once driven off with bow fire and halberd, now dwell in the shacks left abandoned in the culls, most are unconcerned entirely with the horrors that walk among them, happy to coexist as long as their business isn't pried into. Indeed, some have made a business of the occupation, and teams of thugs armed with clubs and mancatchers have begun to waylay travelers on the woodland tracks, dragging them back to Fakkhaven to "participate" in the vile festivities. For this they are richly rewarded, both in coin and favour in the eyes of Wormtaste, whose generous rewards are starting to manifest themselves amongst them. However, , the spike in disappearances in the area is starting to draw attention from the local patrols and it's only a matter of time before there will be a reckoning, at which time the rabble of Fakkhaven are ready and willing to stand with Cohaagen in defence of the village. 




The foul heart of Fakkhaven: 


Thanks for looking folks, be sure to check out The Work of Shaitan for Neds next entry (which is gonna be a cracker), and then tune back in here as I go back to space to start in a band of reavers to follow The Gentle!






Friday, 22 April 2016

Sneaky little bastard...

Hello folks! Absolutely fucked with hayfever at the minute so the output has dropped off, but I've managed to get my entry for the warbands project in with a chaos assassin for my Slaanesh renegade lads:

The assassin known as Shard has been the bane of imperial forces in the sector for decades, his covert operations disrupting everything from ammunition production all the way up to large scale troop deployments to the campaign against an Ork incursion along the Eastern Frontier. Shards needle rifle has taken the lives of both crime lords and admirals, what is seemingly a random pattern of murder has far reaching implications; the assassination of an arbites marshall for example, allowed the flourishing of a hidden slaaneshi cult hidden within the aristocracy of the spire of one of the systems major hives, eventually leading to a demonic incursion that required inquisitorial intervention, pulling vital military resources from the frontline of the greenskins campaign. The resulting ork breakthrough has enveloped three more planets, including one that contains an ancient eldar warp gate, the infiltration of which is Shards ultimate mission. 
Should Shard enter the webway, he intends to use his lethal skills to hunt the eldar through their own territory, in an attempt to disrupt the sensitive psychic network to allow his masters servants to finally finish what the eldar themselves started.
With the removal of the imperial presence from the planet, Shard now intends to venture to the supposed site of the portal and begin his endgame. However, while the chaos of an ork occupation is ample cover, it also raises the issue of tens of thousands of orks on the rampage, and as good as he is, even Shard knows he wouldn't last long against an entire warband alone.
And this is how Shard has come into the company of "The Gentle" and his reavers, hoping to harness the combat prowess  of his new allies as the perfect distraction to allow his mission to continue. Although he and the Gentle share the worship of their God, the renegade is nothing more to Shard than another weapon in his arsenal, to use and discard as he sees fit..




And there you go! I'll leave it there for now, cos I'm in a heap, but be sure to tune in to The Work of Shaitan for the next thrilling installment! Thanks for looking!



Tuesday, 12 April 2016

RoC project going medieval on your ass

Hello again! With Neds Khorne renegade in the bag, and our warbands taking (unpainted) shape, we've turned our attention to the Warhammer world and rolled up our fantasy warbands. As I already mentioned (hope you're paying attention), I drew nurgle for the fantasy side of the project, so I got rolling the other night and came up with an absolute beast! Anyway, here's some fluff:

The small hamlet of Fakkhaven lies in the shadow of the Drakwald forest in the empire, a benighted place full of bandits and other, much more horrific dangers. Situated as it is, Fakkhaven has been destroyed and rebuilt many times in its history, but it's hardy citizens struggled on stubbornly, and eked out a living as woodsmen and subsistence farmers in spite of the ever present danger.
However, for the past three decades Fakkhaven has enjoyed an unprecedented period of peace, and while its inhabitants have become aggressively insular, it has avoided the predations of the myriad creatures that call the Drakwald home. It has been this way ever since the carnival came to town all those years ago.
You see, the carnival, while displaying gaiety and bright colours, had as rotten a core as it is possible to have. This carnival was the noisome cavalcade of Cholerus Wormtaste, Great Unclean One of Nurgle, and he and his troupe had been spreading glorious rot across the back roads of the empire for decades before Fakkhaven even existed. 
But when the carnival came to the hamlet, they found it prepared for their arrival, in a way. A terrified survivor of their last performance had come to Fakkhaven ahead of them, and warned of the horrors about to befall the community. The carnival pulled up in front of hastily prepared barricades with a lone figure before them. The man was Ethbert Cohaagen, appointed leader of Fakkhaven and the best warrior among them, having served the emperor as a halberdier for a large portion of his adult life. While now in his fifth decade, Cohaagen was still formidable, his ex issue halberd, driven by his powerful swing, had ended the life of many a raider over the years. 
A lone, cowled figure emerged from the caravan and started towards him, his grip on his halberd tightening as he readied himself. From the outside he was the picture of determination, but in his mind he was wracked with doubt. He was old now, older than he had any right to be and he could feel his age catching up with him. He was slowing now, and wracked with dull aches and other discomforts, and if he was honest with himself, the blood in his piss was a very bad sign. The hooded figure stopped before him, and began to talk. It was a dry rasping whisper, and none that cowered on the other side of the barricades could make out what was said, but they certainly noticed the slump in Cohaagens shoulders as he relaxed his guard. Suddenly, the emissary stepped to the side and beckoned Cohaagen toward the carnival cart, and the people of Fakkhaven were both surprised and relieved to see Cohaagen make his way towards it.
After a time Cohaagen re emerged and made his way back to the village, his step noticeably more assured, a youthful swagger back in his step. He told the villagers to open the gates and allow their new friends in, their fortunes were about to change for the better in a way they couldn't conceive. The people were unsure, but did as he bid once Alfred Weissman was hacked in two for voicing dissent. Something had happened to Cohaagen in that cart, but terror at his newfound strength forced obedience. As the cart rattled into the centre of the hamlet and it's curtains drew back to reveal disease made flesh in countless horrible forms, Fakkhaven fell to its knees in terrified supplication.
However, Father Wormtaste is a generous leader, gregarious and jolly he delights in interacting with his new subjects, even if they usually end the exchanges wracked with hideous illness. Cohaagen has become the red right hand of Father Wormtaste, defending the passes that lead to Fakkhaven and hunting down escapees who haven't accepted the Word of the Father with single minded brutality. As for Cohaagen himself, he has never felt better, a new vitality courses through his now leprous flesh, and while he was strong before he is now capable of wrestling a fully armoured warhorse to the ground without any effort at all. He has even grown fond of the little mites that follow him everywhere, delighting in their ridiculous vicious antics. For Ethbert Cohaagen, life is good again, and he will do whatever it takes to keep it that way.

So there you go! Champion of nurgle with nurgling infestation and strength (+3!), so I followed that to its ridiculous conclusion and gave him a two handed weapon, because strength 9 attacks should provide hilarity down the road. For his retinue, I rolled 7 humans, 2 orcs and 4 chaos goblins, so watch this space! 
Now I'll hand the reins back to Ned for some Tzeentch magicky bullshit 😉 thanks for looking! Oh, and here's the man himself, Mr. Cohaagen